all of the below was written by
Rev. Gareth Kok
(CRC Pastor)
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MAPLE AVENUE, HOLLAND MICHIGAN
It was a beautiful October day when we rolled into Holland. Our house was ready, the furniture was in place and we could move right in. Soon we noticed things were different than in California. We had a furnace which burned coal and I had to shovel coal in and take the ashes out. It was a new chore. Sometime later our first snow fell and the children had their first experience with snow.
Life in Holland was much quieter than it had been in Bellflower. Many of the activities we had in a rapidly growing young church were missing. We had fewer callers and fewer calls to make. Kathryn said once, "We really don't belong here because these people don't need us."
In Bellflower everybody needed us for almost everything. The phone was always ringing and every cay people stopped by the house to ask for help of some sort. In Holland this rarely happened. In a way it was a nice change; we had more time for other things.
On May 31, 1949 the Lord blessed us with the birth of Kay Joyann. It was a difficult birth. Kay came into the world with a broken shoulder and Kathryn showed the strain, but we were thankful and happy. Kathryn did not regain her strength as well as we had hoped. She did not have the pep and was often very tired.
The next year we planned a trip to Bellflower, but I felt that Kathryn needed rest, so I suggested that we leave Kay with my sister Jessie in Randolph, Wisconsin and this was agreed on. We had a wonderful trip by way of Yellowstone, Bryce and Zion, and had a most enjoyable time in Bellflower.
I preached for my former congregation and we visited as many families as possible. Time went very fast and before long we were back in Holland. Kay had enjoyed her stay with Aunt Jessie. However, Kathryn did not regain her old strength.
Not long afterwards she said that her lower lip seemed numb; later one hand was numb and still later one leg became numb. She could not feel heat or cold. She would get severe headaches in the middle of the night, but she used to say "They are not like ordinary headaches. They are deep in my head."
We had the custom of reading Psalms 23 and 90 during the closing hour of the year, but at the close of 1950, I advised her to go to sleep because she had her head pain. Just before 12 she came to the study and said "I want to read and pray with you as usual for this might be the last time."
After midnight we retired, but she was restless because of pain. Early the next morning I called the doctor. He suggested that we take her to the hospital, so on January 1, 1951 she went to the Holland Hospital. She stayed there several days, but found no relief and no explanation for her headaches.
After that she spent a few days at the doctor's house, but finally returned home. One Sunday I had to preach for a church in Canada. Kathryn insisted that I go. The doctor volunteered to drive for me. Kathryn's sister Johanna came to stay with her. We returned home late Sunday night.
I planned to sleep on the couch downstairs so as not to disturb her, but before long I heard that she was awake and found her in great distress; her head pain was unbearable. When the doctor came he discovered that there was pressure on her eyes and he suggested that we put her in care of a brain specialist in Grand Rapids and later that next night she entered Butterworth Hospital.
Dr. List discovered a brain tumor and operated a day later. The report was favorable, but we later discovered that it was not true. We had been told that there was no malignancy, but in fact there was, and the doctor knew it.
She recovered rapidly and seemed to get along quite well. She even went to church again, but soon the severe headaches came back, and she knew she was very sick. People suggested to go to another doctor, but Kathryn kept saying "We have consulted a very good doctor and I trust the Lord will work this out in the way that is best. I feel no need of another doctor."
Later we were persuaded to consult the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota and to make the trip by ambulance. The trip went well, but when we got to Rochester it began to snow and before long it was a blizzard. This was the week before Palm Sunday. She submitted to various tests and on Sunday morning I found her very happy.
She said the doctor had visited her early that morning and had told her that she could go home, because there was nothing they could do for her and he had said that she might be able to live for six more months. But she was so happy because the doctor was a Christian and he had told her the truth in a comforting, Christian way.
I was stunned but began to make plans for the return trip. I found that all the roads were closed by the blizzard, the airport was closed and the train from the west was a day late. On Monday we got on board. There was no Pullman, but we were given the nurses' room which was not too clean, but they gave us clean sheets and so we were on the way home.
For dinner I ordered two complete dinners, but my darling could eat only very little. By this time I had to feed her. Before we ate we prayed and thanked God for his wonderful grace. I asked if she would like to sing and she said "My Jesus, I Love Thee", one of her favorite songs.
She ate very little dinner even though it was very good. I had to eat her dessert. When we arrived in Chicago the ambulance was waiting and soon we were on the way to Holland.
Kathryn was very happy to see her children again but her health did not improve. Finally she would lapse into spells of coma. We had a nurse day and night to stay with her. On Sunday, April 15, she woke up for a little while. Woody said to her "Can you smile for us, mother?" and she did.
I spoke to her a few words and read some favorite scripture selections and prayed with her. I asked her to respond by squeezing my hand, which she did, and then she went into her final coma. I stayed with her until the nurse finally suggested that I should retire and she would call me if there was any change.
Before I retired, as usual, I knelt at my bed and I prayed that if the Lord would not restore her to health, I wished that He would take her to Himself soon. A few minutes later the nurse called me and when I saw that she was dying I gathered the children, except baby Kay, at her bed to see mother going to be with Jesus. Rev. Van Peursem came to comfort us. My comfort was that the one I loved most on earth was now with the Lord she loved.
I do not wish to describe my sorrow; words would fail. God gave the strength and comfort I needed, but life was not the same any more. I prayed a great deal for guidance and grace to carry on. I tried to take care of the church which was at that time in the beginning of a big building program.
A new church was under construction and a new parsonage. The old parsonage was moved. To make things worse, for weeks we were without a home and the children were scattered about. Faith, Gary and Kay were taken to relatives in Wisconsin for awhile, and Woody, Jim and I stayed with people in Holland. It was a very disturbing experience.
After we had settled in our new house, I began to look for a housekeeper. I made up my mind to seek one who would not be a candidate for marriage. I found one in Wisconsin.
One day my mother said to me, "Gareth, you should look for a new wife." My response was "I am not going dating because I know the talk it would cause." However, I did think of what mother had said and one night I prayed, "Lord, if you want me to have another wife, please direct me to the right one without requiring me to go dating."
A few days later my attention was directed to Ada Timmer with whom I had become acquainted at Calvin in 1929 and whose husband had died in 1948. I had not heard of her husband's death, but a mutual friend told me about it. I stopped at her home one afternoon to express my sympathy.
About a month later, I met her again at a Calvin reunion meeting and I invited her to go for dinner with me some Saturday night. This was in August or early September. We had our dinner in Grand Haven and that was the beginning of more serious talks and visits and we were led to believe that the Lord was bringing us together and on December 16, 1952 we were joined in marriage.
Our honeymoon trip was taken down south and just before Christmas we gathered our large new family in the parsonage and our happy married life began. Jim and Woody were at Calvin, but on weekends all 12 of us were together at home. It was an exciting and busy time for us and it was fun.
Not long after we were married I received a couple of calls, but in at least two cases we found the parsonages were too small for our big family and we did not want the churches to enlarge their parsonages for us, and so we felt free to decline. Then came the call from Edgerton, Minnesota. It had a big house and for other reasons we were led to accept and in September 1954 we moved to Edgerton. Our Holland chapter ended.
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END GARETH KOK
